So, first things first, a “Hello, World!” application. I stumbled upon the the App Inventor by Google that allows you to create apps for the android phone and as luck would have it the apps work on Kindle Fire too. A perfect start for someone like me who knows nothing about mobile development.

Installing the necessary components so that the App Inventor can work in your browser is really easy and hassle free. Just visit App Inventor Website and follow the instructions to a T !

I’m not going to repeat the instructions, as it has been explained very well on the App Inventor website. You need to follow the section that explains how to create an app using an emulator (and not the phone). I’ve added a few snapshots and some notes on slight glitches I faced.

A snapshot of the App Inventor with the “Hello World” interface – a button and a label :

Note 1. I installed the app inventor on OS X Lion and Windows 7 Home Premium without any hassle at all using Chrome.

Note 2. After I closed and restarted the browser, the app inventor did not load correctly. I fixed this by explicitly executing the adbdevices.bat file which can be found at “C:\Program Files (x86)\AppInventor\commands-for-Appinventor\adbdevices.bat” on a 64 bit windows machine.

The Block Editor allows you to define the behavior for your user interface. The graphical model for describing the logic seemed a little too cute to be very practical but it does get the job done and worked without any problems. I am going to have to dig deeper and figure out if the App Inventor allows you to define logic the ‘text editor’ way, or if I am going to have to switch development environments for building applications that do more than purr.

A snapshot of the Block Editor – toggles the label on button click :

Note 3. On the mac, the “connect to device..” button on the Block Editor was grayed out for me. I am sure this can be fixed but I just switched to Windows 7 to avoid being derailed.

So at the end of this process you should have a .apk file somewhere on your computer.

This was easy, now comes the frustrating part of transferring the .apk file to the Kindle without a USB cable. Eventually I did find a roundabout way of getting this done.

Firstly, you need to install the ES Explorer application on your Kindle Fire. Next, you need to enable application installation from “unknown sources”. Unknown to Amazon that is, not you. If the application is unknown to you, you might be better off without it. This option can be found under settings -> More -> Device -> Allows Installation on Applications -> ON.

Install the ES Explorer app on Kindle Fire

Turn on app installation from unknown sources for Kindle

You now need to send the .APK file to your kindle. Emailing the file to your-amazon-id@kindle.com does not work. If you have a USB cable thats great, but since I didn’t have one I mailed myself a copy of the file and downloaded it via the Email app on Kindle.

Transfer the .apk file to Kindle via email

You can install the application by launching the ES Explorer application and locating your .apk file. If you downloaded it via email, you will find it under the “Downloads” directory. Install the application and your app will be added to “Apps” available on your Kindle.

The .APK file in ES Explorer - Click to install

Our HelloWorld app under "Apps"

Hello, World !

You are now ready to greet the world !

Sam Grobart ends his NY Times post with this cheeky little note, which might very well reflect your state of mind.

The Common Man : So I would want a Chromebook because …?

Sam Grobart : Good question.

Though the comment above was meant as sarcasm, I believe it is a good question. When I bought my first laptop, I wanted every possible port a device could offer. What if I wanted to connect it to [any magical peripheral device here] ? By the end of its life I had used two, the Ethernet port (for internet) and the USB port (for everything else). The same holds true for the SLR I purchased with great enthusiasm. On most occasions I used two buttons, one that turned the power on and the other that took the picture.

So if you believe Chromebook is useless because regular laptops can do everything it does and much more, think again. When Google first launched its search engine I am sure they looked stupid with one button and one text-box, but look where they are today. And though most people think they want more features, what they really want is more simplicity. Apple and Google are organizations that get this and it is reflected in their products beautifully. Microsoft unfortunately is not one of them and anyone who has worked with Visual Studio can vouch for that ;-)

I use the computer to do three things precisely – write code, blog and surf the web (mail, news, networking). Only the first one, writing code, is something I cannot do on the Chromebook and to be honest something I prefer not doing on my laptop either. The rest of my time I spend reading and writing on the web and I think Chromebook is suited perfectly for those tasks.

So although I am not going to throw away my desktop, I can surely see myself buying a Chromebook instead of a laptop the next time. Not having to learn another Control Panel layout¹ and not having to view update messages from every software installed on my machine is reason enough !

1 – Why does Microsoft do that? Am I stupid or does Administrative Services like playing hide and seek?

The process of creating by and large is always more satisfying than that of consuming. It does not need to be valuable or even praise worthy. It can simply be mediocre. Vincent Van Gogh once wrote in a letter to his brother Theo;

“I do not at all despise mediocre in its simple sense. And one certainly does not rise above the mark by despising what is mediocre. In my opinion one must at least begin by having some respect for the mediocre, and know that it already means something, and is only reached with great difficulty.”

These are my attempts. First being the cardamom mava cakes, which I must admit were delicious. Here is the recipe. The perfect accompaniment to a mava cake is some tea and a book. I picked up “Marrying Anita: A Quest for Love in the New India”. Now this ones far from being a classic, very far indeed, but a chick lit once in a while never hurt a soul. I even wrote a little review for the book on amazon.

“This was a fun book, and I enjoyed reading it. However, you might be disappointed if you were hoping to find a deeper connection with the author and her life. I believe a lot of the negative reviews reflect that, since after a certain point it is difficult to relate to Anita’s experiences, especially the fact that her failed relationships seem to teach her nothing. Everyone has the right to act silly at any age, but one hopes the wiser ones realize their folly and correct themselves once the moment of insanity has passed. And one definitely hopes to be wise by thirty !

But I like her honestly and clarity and she is not afraid to say it like it is. She does have her preferences; she likes the poor boy from the village who works hard and becomes an artist, she does not like the poor boy from the village who works hard and becomes an IT engineer in New Jersey. But at no point is she pretentious which I find quite refreshing. She has preferences, we all do.

Surprisingly, Delhi seems to be light years ahead in terms of dating if compared to Mumbai. I can imagine smoking and drinking to your hearts content in Mumbai, every day, for FUN. But to do that when you’re here to find a husband? Hmm, never heard of that one! I have yet to meet an Indian woman who partied her way to marriage. What a boring world I live in!

So if you want to enjoy the book, don’t take everything it says too personally. It is about her, Anita, and not about the Indian woman you are, you love or hope to meet !”

And finally a painting. It’s a concept called paint by numbers, where the supplier will send you a canvas with a drawing sketched out. There are even little numbers indicating the colors one must use for each section. Takes you back to primary school doesn’t it? Good old days, where the only worry you had was sticking inside the boundaries. Who says painting has to be hard work?

So there you have it. Nothing fancy, but truly homemade :)

Tetsuya Miyamoto, a very intelligent math teacher from Japan is the inventor of the logic puzzle KenKen¹. Tetsuya believed in the art of teaching without teaching and learnt how not to scare his pupils away! KenKen which loosely means cleverness squared (ken X ken) is very much like Sudoku with the addition of simple mathematical rules.

I love KenKen and have been addicted to it for some time now. So early one morning I decided I’d write a computer program to solve it. At first I thought it was going to be a piece of cake. One day is all it would take. After all, how hard was it to find the list of numbers that multiply to twenty four? Turns out, it was; not hard but definitely tricky. Then again, which software project ever completed within estimates ;-)

I wrote the project in C# (ASP.NET) but I wonder if F# would have been a better choice given the mathematical nature of the problem. The lazy me, who didn’t want to learn another syntax sadly skipped this. Maybe I can write an F# program to solve Sudoku ?

My program is not exactly a computerized solution to KenKen. It moves one step at a time and mimics the way a human being (mostly me) would typically solve this puzzle. This also means that the success of this approach is limited by my ability to solve it. I personally have not been able to solve a 7 x 7 hard puzzle and hence, my program can’t solve it either (any help appreciated !). The solution also doesn’t use backtracking² because although it is very easy for a computer, it is very hard for a human being after a certain level.

So, this is how the application looks. It has been deployed using AppHarbor³ and you can check it out over here (kenken.apphb.com).

This is what those numbers mean !

So check it out, have some fun and keep that brain running ;-)

1. KenKen® is a registered trademark of Nextoy, LLC. Puzzle content ©2011 KenKen Puzzle LLC. (www.kenken.com)
2. Backtracking is a common technique in computer science used for finding solutions to certain problems. In simple words, you guess a solution and then move forward. If your guess was invalid you wont be able to solve the problem correctly and you will discard this solution. You then backtrack, and guess again, till finally your guess is accurate!
3. AppHarbor allows you to deploy your application on the web and was such a joy to use (appharbor.com)

“80 rupees” said the person at the counter. Did I look like a fool to him? I righteously stomped off to a stall a few blocks away. “80 rupees” came the echo. It is surprising how someone who looks so haggard and weak at one moment can appear so shrewd and businesslike the very next. I was almost certain he had a BMW hiding somewhere behind his 5 by 5 feet stall. “OK” I said at the cost of committing one of the seven deadly sins, gluttony via laute – which in Latin is the sin of eating too expensively! Now, had I been born at the end of the 19th century, I could have feasted on those delicious cream topped berries and gone straight to heaven both figuratively and literally, for in 1901, the A.M. Sweet & Son Restaurant in New York served them for only 15¢ ! And how do I know this? Well because it’s on the menu!

“What’s on the menu?”, a project by the New York Public Library is now converting its historical restaurant menu collection into a computer friendly format. They have about forty thousand of these historical menus – a data analyst’s dream, a data entry operators’s nightmare! But before you pity the later, you ought to know that that person is you! “What’s on the menu?” requires regular people like you and me to help transcribe these menus by typing in the dishes that appear on the picture of a menu card, one dish at a time. Though the task is a tad repetitive, it is definitely entertaining. When the project completes and with the magic of data mining there would be so many new things to learn about the way we ate. There are interesting things you notice even while examining a single menu, like “French Asparagus” was one of the few items that cost $1 when everything else was only around 25-50¢. Oh surely they couldn’t taste better than those strawberries!

Help What’s on the menu by visiting http://menus.nypl.org/ and relishing a few dishes yourself :)

It is interesting how the celebrations start out in the town square and slowly move onto the streets :)

“Let us all gather in the town square to celebrate peacefully.”

“Hmm, something doesn’t feel right. I wonder what?”

“I’ve got an idea – lets try moving on to the streets!”

“Hey, this is great ! Who knew blocking traffic was such fun!”

“Lets get this bugger ! Yippiee…..!”

“I will give you my personal number” said the lady at the Vodafone store on Mangaldas road, a quite lane in Koregaon Park. “I assure you, you will have no problems with the account again. Ever.” she continued. “Thank you” I said, “but I would like to close my account and terminate my number”. As she reluctantly filled the account closing form, I was happy knowing that I would never ever have to visit this store again or speak to another Vodafone customer care executive, whose only solution to my problems was – “Sorry madam, but you will have to visit the store personally”.

Have you ever been in a relationship where one person wants out and the other is willing to do everything to keep it going? Plead? Beg? And if you still magically got out, the begging turned to harassment and pestering? So much in love was Vodafone with me, that they just couldn’t accept that our relationship was over. Long after I had payed off the last bill and settled all dues they sent me another one! Yes, a bill for a period during which the number did not exist. I had left the relationship. Vodafone had not. They kept their end going, sending me bills and harassing my poor mom whose number I had provided as an ‘alternate’ (extremely bad decision).

I called the Vodafone customer care executive who told me “Sorry madam, but you will have to visit the store personally”. At least they were consistent.

I wrote to Vodafone customer care explaining my situation. They wrote back saying they tried calling me on this closed, non existent number but could not reach me. Poor things, in a corner of their heart they still believed that this number was alive.

One day, my dad received another pestering phone call from Vodafone. The person spoke with a voice of finality – “Are you going to pay the bill or not?’ My dad thought for a moment and decided he might as well give the 350 bucks and shut the matter. So, he told her he would do so, but she must give a clear statement saying that the matter was now closed. She thought for a while and then said: “Okay. Then will you pay 700?!”

We all know that the customer care around cellular services is a joke in India, but Vodafone seems to have taken this analogy quite literally!

THE PERFIDIOUS NEPHEW – by Dr. N. C. Edul

A story written deliberately using uncommon words which are explained in the course of the story – so no running around for the dictionary.

Method: The words in italics indicate the meaning of the word in bold print just preceding. The first pair has been highlighted for understanding.

An occasional word is not explained – a ploy to make you reach for the dictionary occasionally.

Prof Kohler: (Busy at his writing desk. His nephew Rudolf walks in)

Rudolf: Hi uncle! Busy writing as usual! (Looks at the manuscript) What have we here?

Prof Kohler: It’s a dialectic. You won’t get it.

Rudolf: What’s a dialectic?

Prof Kohler: (Sighs) It’s investigation of truth by logical and systematic reasoning.

Rudolf: Oh! I love investigating truth. I’d love helping you arrive at some great truth.

Prof Kohler: (Laughs sarcastically) And then we could write a paean!

Rudolf: Ah! A song of triumph! I’d quite fancy that!

Prof Kohler: It requires diligent work, my friend. One needs to work sincerely with care and effort.

Rudolf: Oh do give me a chance. I am rather fond of such things.

Prof Kohler: It’s not for a dilettante like you. Dabbling in a subject for pleasure. One needs to think… explain…

Rudolf: You sure need to do a lot of explaining!

Prof Kohler: It’s not easy separating the wheat from the chaff. Picking out gems from all the detritus, all the debris surrounding them. Get me that pen from the mantelpiece, will you?

Rudolf: (Looking around) The pen…

Prof Kohler: Shelf above the fireplace, man. One would have thought you knew that, at least.

Rudolf: (Getting the pen) As a matter of fact I was writing something I thought I’d show you?

Prof Kohler: (Raises an eyebrow) Writing a dialectic?!

Rudolf: I’ll sure be dead if I don’t write it before the first semester. It’s about the movement of particles.

Prof Kohler: (Picks up the paper and reads) The movement of – eh? – discreet particles? How can a particle be discreet?

Rudolf: Why not?

Prof Kohler: How can a particle be prudent – not giving away secrets?

Rudolf: I mean particles that are separate…

Prof Kohler: That’s discrete. Not joined, separate.

Rudolf: (Making light of it) Well then let’s say discrete particles are discreet!

Prof Kohler: (Grunts)

Rudolf: Come uncle you don’t have to be so pedantic. Strict observance of rules and details and all that.

Prof Kohler: (Getting irritated) Well, come to the point. What do you want?

Rudolf: Ah! There was quite a pageant I saw on the way here. Quite a procession – fancy dress and all.

Prof Kohler: Why didn’t you join in?

Rudolf: But there were some fancy cars too! I was thinking – my old man…

Mrs Kohler: (Entering the room) Hi Rudolf! Nice to see you so early! That was a nice pageant…

Rudolf: And some mighty fine cars. And my old man won’t shell out even a thousand for a second hand car.

Mrs Kohler: He is rather parsimonious. Remarkably stingy and positively mean for a man of his means.

Prof Kohler: And he lives in a warren!

Mrs Kohler: Oh, he doesn’t stay in a rabbit burrow!

Prof Kohler: Well those narrow interconnecting paths and buildings! Makes me giddy walking around those parts.

Rudolf: But you don’t have to go there, uncle! And I stay there! So how about a thousand quid to be returned next month?

Prof Kohler: Why would anyone give even one pound to a profligate wasteful person like you?

Mrs Kohler: That’s not a nice word Kohler! (Thinks) Perhaps you could call him prodigal!

Prof Kohler: Means the same thing!

Mrs Kohler: But sounds a lot kinder! (Turns to Rudolf) That Ford dealer won’t give you on instalments?

Rudolf: Oh, he is hopeless! Doesn’t know what he talks. Thinks I should get myself a tumbril. What’s a tumbril, aunt?

Mrs Kohler: A sort of open cart, I think.

Prof Kohler: The sort they used to carry condemned people to the guillotine.

Rudolf: (Laughs) The French wouldn’t like a touch of German blood to soil their guillotine, would they now?

Prof Kohler: The French Royalty had enough German blood singing through their veins! Any more and they would be
chimeras!

Mrs Kohler: Chimeras! Can’t imagine Napoleon with the head of a lion, the body of a goat and a tail of the serpent!

Rudolf: (Perplexed) What are you talking about? We started with a thousand pounds…

Prof Kohler: You are rather pertinacious! Persistent and determined to get your hands on my money. But it’s no use. (Waves him away) Go now! My secretary isn’t coming and I have to do the typing myself. She is a little indisposed.

Rudolf: You mean she is sick?

Prof Kohler: To put it grossly, yes.

Mrs Kohler: Well, there’s nothing unrefined about the word ‘sick’, after all…

Rudolf: It is – when the person is not sick – or should we say not ‘indisposed’? (Laughs)

Prof Kohler: None of your insinuations!

Rudolf: Well, if you’d rather not know it’s all right with me. Bye!

Prof Kohler: Damn your impertinence!

Mrs Kohler: Oh, he’s showing no lack of respect. That’s how he is made.

Mr Kohler: Then whoever made him has done a very poor job!

Rudolf: Now who’s being impudent?

Mrs Kohler: Enough Rudolf. Now come, tell us, what’s this about Miss Brenner?

Rudolf: Well she ain’t sick. She’s with Professor Karl!

Prof Kohler: Damnation! What’s she…(Changing his tone) But why should I believe you?

Rudolf: Because I have indubitable proof! Impossible to doubt.

Prof Kohler: (Getting worked up) Out with it man! What??

Rudolf: I saw her go in with my own eyes!

Mrs Kohler: (Exclaims) Why that perfidious little thing! So deceitful and disloyal! Who could have imagined…

Prof Kohler: I don’t believe it! Why should I believe it?

Rudolf: Don’t then. Bye!

Prof Kohler: Wait! Damn your insolence but now is not the time to be bothered with rudeness of the…well…what could she want with him?

Rudolf: Well…she’s not in love with him!

Mrs Kohler: Don’t be frivolous, Rudolf.

Rudolf: But why do think I’m not serious? No she’s not in love with him but she loves his money.

Prof Kohler: And why would a man like Professor Karl want to give her money?

Rudolf: Because a perfidious secretary like Miss Brenner can give him…some nice things that she possesses…

Prof Kohler: Get out! You insinuating son of Satan!

Rudolf: (Beginning to leave the room) …like your research papers!

Prof Kohler: Stop! (Rudolf keeps walking away) Halt! I command you!

Rudolf: (Turns and salutes him) Yes, mein Fuhrer?

Prof Kohler: What research papers? How do you know?

Rudolf: “The Unconscious aspect of Consciousness”!

Prof Kohler: (Excited) “The Conscious aspect of Unconsciousness”!

Rudolf: The same thing…

Prof Kohler: Not the same a bit, you dolt! Stupid that you are! But tell me –

Mrs Kohler: I remember he had plagiarized it!

Prof Kohler: Copied it! Almost to the word and pretended it was his original paper!

Rudolf: Exactly! And where do you think he got it from…?

Prof Kohler: (Shocked) You mean my secretary…

Rudolf: Who else? I had almost caught her in the act!

Prof Kohler: (Dejected) Oh, what is the world coming to! She of all people! How could she do something so heinous?

Mrs Kohler: Utterly wicked, I say!

Rudolf: Most unsavory behavior! Rather unpleasant!

Mrs Kohler: And she didn’t do it gratis, I’m sure!

Rudolf: She wouldn’t move her little finger for free!

Prof Kohler: But she has always been so upright…who would have thought…quite an enigma!

Mrs Kohler: Nothing mysterious or puzzling really! Selling her soul for a few dollars more!

Rudolf: And uncle you grudge me a few measly pounds! Really small sum which can save you all the embarrassment!

Prof Rudolf: What are you suggesting?

Rudolf: Forget Miss Brenner! I’ll do your typing and it will be as safe as a…sparrow.

Mrs Kohler: Don’t make up silly similes Rudolf! Safe as…safe as…what is it Kohler?

Prof Kohler: (Mutters) That perfidious double-crosser! (Aloud, throwing the manuscript at Rudolf) Well, get down to it!

Rudolf retires with the manuscript to a corner. Makes two copies and surreptitiously, secretly, slips one copy into his pocket on his way out and goes straight to Professor Karl’s house.

Rudolf: Good afternoon, Professor! See what I have here!

Prof Karl: (Inspecting the typescript) A dialectic! Fine! (Business-like tone) Now none of your dilatory, delaying tactics. Come straight to the point. How much?

Rudolf: Come, Professor! How about a cup of tea, before we begin? How do you know I’m doing it just for money?

Prof Karl: I cannot envisage, imagine you doing anything for anything else. (Let’s out a mirthless laugh) I know the unconscious workings of your conscious mind. How much?

Rudolf: Two thousand!

Prof Karl: Your guts are laudable, truly deserving praise. But I’m afraid, you miscalculate!

Rudolf: With a paper like this you could be his nemesis! Bring about Professor Kohler’s well-deserved downfall!

Prof Karl: Much to your chagrin, much to your disappointment and annoyance I must clarify that I’m not that naïve! Lacking experience and judgment to be taken in by a scallywag, mischievous person like you.

Rudolf: You make me giddy with your words! Oh well, I’m not infallible, incapable of making mistakes! Perhaps I miscalculated! Perhaps I meant a thousand pounds!

Prof Karl: I think you meant five hundred.

Rudolf: You really can read my unconscious mind! I think you are right!

Prof Karl: That’s more like it! (Hands Rudolf the money and takes the typescript)

Rudolf: Professor, who does the typing for you? No secretary! What a pity! (Picks up the manuscript from Karl’s table) ‘An
Analysis of Despair and Dejection’. No reason to be, sir! I could do this for you in ten minutes!

Prof Karl: (With a deprecating laugh, expressing disapproval) No, thank you. I couldn’t afford it!

Rudolf: Absolutely free!

Prof Karl: Ha!

Rudolf: Gratis!

Prof Karl: Ha!

Rudolf: No strings attached!

Prof Karl: Ha!

Rudolf: (Thinking quickly) Just for a cup of tea!

Prof Karl: (Dubiously, doubtfully) I can’t believe my ears!

Rudolf: (Dramatically) Cross my heart and hope to die!

Professor Karl gives Rudolf the manuscript and goes in to make tea. Rudolf types furiously, making two copies and slips one into his pocket. He rushes through the tea and makes straight for Professor Kohler.

Rudolf: (Waving the typescript in front of the Professor’s nose) See what I got!

Prof Kohler: (Straining to see) What?

Rudolf: Revenge! Sweet revenge!

Mrs Kohler: What are you talking?

Rudolf: He is finished, annihilated! Destroyed completely!

Prof Kohler: Who?

Rudolf: Professor Karl!

Prof Kohler: (Taking the typescript and reading) Oh! Ah! Really!

Rudolf: Get it in the journal pronto, at once!

Mrs Kohler: It will no doubt vex him greatly.

Rudolf: Annoy and worry him no end!

Prof Kohler: (Mischievous glint in his eyes) Hmm…

Rudolf: You can eat your cake and have it too…for just…a thousand pounds!

Prof Kohler: (Stunned) A thousand…

Rudolf: Money is ephemeral! Momentary! Fame is eternal. Reputations are…

Prof Kohler: (looking doubtfully at the papers) Yes…but…one thousand…

Rudolf: Or five hundred over a glass of sherry!

Prof Kohler: (Putting the papers in his drawer) That’s more like it! (Hands him the money)

Rudolf: (Slipping the money into his waistcoat) Well uncle…as I always say – All’s well that ends well!

I do not disagree with Buddha. In fact I agree with him completely, except that he forgot to mention the other half !

Can this be true ? Decide for yourself. Which of these scenarios make you sing a song and believe you are the happiest person alive?

Case [A] – You have been longing for something for months, even years and you finally get it.

Case [B] – You unexpectedly receive something pleasant*.

(*Note: Of course this pleasant item cannot be a desire because then it would simply be case [A] where you got what you wanted sooner rather than later. To put it explicitly, case [B] is when you get something which the world would consider desirable/nice/beautiful/expensive but its not something you personally crave for – it is a nice thing to have but you really would not be affected if you lived your life with or without it)

The difference in Case [A] and Case [B] is only “desire”, and if you too like me picked [A], then, “desire is the root of all happiness” in your life too :)

Just a midnight thought !

P.S. I desire sleep ;-)

In 2002, for a class project I had the option of working with either Microsoft Foundation Classes (MFC) or Java. After having worked with Windows SDK in the last semester, the decision was clear. Anything that didn’t come from Microsoft was going to be OK. So I started reading this book – The Java Programming Language and that is when it happened. I fell in love with James. James Gosling that is. How funny, how intelligent, how brilliant this man might be I thought. If it wasn’t for my employer who made me write Java Server Pages (JSP), I might still have been in love. I’m not quite sure, but I guess it had something to do with the fact that my job involved staring at the “Null Pointer Exception” in the Apache command window for four hours a day, that brought my love story to an end.

In 2003, I was forced to move from Java to .NET. I wasn’t ready for the separation, but the HR lady would hear nothing of it. What did I expect? Human Resources and Programmers are a match made in hell. So there I was, staring reluctantly at my first .NET program. I pressed F5. Everything worked, I didn’t see a “Null Pointer Exception”. Wait a minute I thought, what about the web server? I don’t remember starting it, or installing it, or reading the ten page documentation on how to configure it. I cried. My life as a programmer was over. I was reduced to a Visual Studio puppet – my only task henceforth would be to click F5. I starred enviously at my friends who after two days of debugging had discovered that their program was crashing because they were using JDK 1.3.2 instead of JDK 1.3.1. Oh how I missed being a programmer.

I’ve missed being a programmer for the last seven years now, but I seemed to have survived the million F5s and the zillion “Microsoft Programmer” jokes ;-) Last weekend I started a little hobby project with my husband and a friend – both loyal to the sun, who of course sold their souls to the oracle. The project was to be in Java, no discussion needed there.

So I installed Eclipse. A Java editor that looked professional and was free. Was I falling in love again? Maybe. I then needed to install some Google plugins for our project – what hobby project is complete without involving Google? Ok, it didn’t work, it couldn’t find java. Ummm… why? Well turns out because Eclipse uses its own java compiler or something (don’t ask me!), as javac clearly didn’t exist on my machine. Interesting. So after installing Eclipse I install the JDK! Fine. Subversion crashes. Ummm… Why? Don’t know again – some clash apparently with the java version and the class paths. I found myself digging through the Environment Variables and looking for issues with the “path”. I’d forgotten all about “Environment Variables” in windows, I was hoping they were dead by now. Yikes. Anyway, after it was all sorted out I created some beautiful java classes only to eventually discover that I had the wrong version of Eclipse to write JSP files!

As you can tell, I am not a good java developer. I couldn’t even install the right version of Eclipse. I gave up, someone would have to write the JSP for me. Neither my husband nor my friend seemed too keen on writing that JSP – not sure why. My husband got stuck with it as my friend had a genuine reason, he was a “server side programmer” so he couldn’t be expected to write front end stuff. As a Microsoft developer, you do not have the liberty of making such statements. If you did, it wouldn’t be long before you heard – “Geez man, my 5 year old son can create an ASP.NET website – all you have to do is click F5 !”